


meme connoisseurs

by aussielinevevo



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), Stray Kids (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/F, High School AU, M/M, Multi, Texting, also everyone is the same age, because this au is weird and makes no sense, but yeah they’re all 17, except for troye, groupchat au, joshua is dating all of seventeen help him, logic? i don’t know her, please help, shitpost, troye is here because i felt like it, why do i keep making these
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 12:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aussielinevevo/pseuds/aussielinevevo
Summary: jeongguk really wants to fite namjoon





	1. i have a meeting at six

[11:46am]

[kookie has added sin, mom™, gucci, no, yes and strong power thank you to the chat]

[kookie has named the chat pOTTER]

sin: jeongguk why

kookie: i made this chat for one reason

kookie: and that is to fite namjoon

strong power thank you: wHAT DID I DO

kookie: YOU JUST PUSHED ME OFF YOUR DESK AND THE TEACHER LAUGHED AT ME

strong power thank you: WHY WERE YOU ON MY DESK IN THE FIRST PLACE

no: kinky

yes: yoongi please

kookie: ;;;;;;;)))))))

kookie: anyway

kookie: namjoon's a dick

mom™: LANGUAGE

gucci: no namjoon likes dick

kookie: okay that too

mom™: I HAVE FAILED AS A MOTHER

strong power thank you: JIN YOURE A GUY AND YOU DONT HAVE KIDS

mom™: I AM STILL A MOTHER

no: why is everyone yelling

sin: *hoseok screaming in the distance*

kookie: ho(e)seok

yes: basically

[kookie has changed the chat name to fite me namjoon]

sin: this is not what was intended when this chat was made

kookie: actually technically it was

strong power thank you: i have a meeting at six

no: namjoon (1) it's 12pm, (2) i'm older than you and i don't have a job let alone an office job w meetings and (3) you're sitting in front of me and the only movement you've made in the last ten minutes is to type in this chat

strong power thank you: ,,,,,,,,

strong power thank you: i have a meeting at six 

sin: taehyung put your phone on silent i can hear it from the other side of the room

gucci: my mum's calling hang on

gucci: she thinks i'm in a cult

mom™: but you're not ???

yes: he is not-so-secretly-gay though

gucci: how dare ????

no: taehyung during lunch you got up and climbed on one of the tables and yelled "I AM A HOMOSEXUAL" and everyone cheered

gucci: it's still a secret tho

kookie: no 

yes: JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK

mom™: L A N G U A G E

sin: WHAT HAPPENED WHAT

yes: JEONGGUK JUST FUCKING DECKED NAMJOON IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND IT LOOKS REALLY GAY

no: hoseok you're really gay

yes: ik but still iT LOOKED VERY GAY

kookie: i am very gay

gucci: jeongguk you're bi

kookie: shut 

sin: none of this changes the fact that jEONGGUK JUST DECKED NAMJOON IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS 

sin: DID ANYONE FILM IT

yes: i think bambam did

sin: get him to send me it

yes: okay

strong power thank you: jimin next time i see you i'm gonna kill you

sin: gotta blast

no: yeah you should probably run 

gucci: YOONGI WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT HE JUST ACTUALLY GOT UP AND RAN OUT OF CLASS

no: I DIDNT THINK HE ACTUALLY WOULD

sin: g o t t a g o f a s t

gucci: he go nyoom nyoom nugget 

[no has removed gucci from the chat]

[yes has added gucci to the chat]

gucci: hecc

no: hoseok i thought you loved me

yes: i do love you

no: i love you too

sin: awwwwwwwww

no: jimin i'll  fucking beat your ass next period if i have to

gucci: kinky

[no has removed gucci from the chat]

[kookie has added gucci to the chat]

gucci: yoongi i thought you loved me

no: taehyung just go to your boyfriends

sin: save us


	2. i would like to speak to my lawyer

[10:17am]

sin: guys

sin: guyS

sin: guYS

sin: gUYS

sin: GUYS

no: what

sin: hey 

no: jimin i'm only sitting two seats away from you be careful

yes: yoongi don't attack jimin

no: why not

yes: because

no: okay

sin: anYWAY i have to say a thing

no: what is it 

sin: jeongguk is being v cute rn and i'm dying someone help

kookie: shut the fuck up jimin i'll slap you

yes: what's he doing ???

sin: he got the one motorbike toy in a kinder surprise egg that he didn't already have and he's putting it together and he's so happy he's v cute i love

gucci: w0w what about me

sin: you're cute too

gucci: okay

strong power thank you: seokjin says please send pics

sin: okay i'm on it

sin: also why can't seokjin tell me himself

yes: our teacher took his phone 

sin: oh okay

[1:33pm]

yes: the best thing just happened

no: what

yes: so you know that guy

no: which one there are many guy

yes: that one who always walks around saying he's gay and slapping his friends' asses

no: oh chwe hansol

yes: yeah that one

yes: anyway so he was trying to get bambam's attention so he kept saying his name but bambam wasnt turning around but then hansol said "gunter" and he turned around and now our teacher is dying laughing

no: that was a rollercoaster wow

[2:32pm]

strong power thank you: yoongi just fell out of his chair what

yes: is he okay ??????

mom™: awwwww

no: stfu

yes: yoongi what did you do

no: someone just started playing twenty one pilots 

strong power thank you: he actually screamed

sin: i'm so glad i filmed that

no: jimin i'm actually going to kill you

yes: yoongi stop killing everyone we need friends

no: never

strong power thank you: stop telling yoongi these things for your own safety

gucci: but it's funny

kookie: gotta blast

[3:11pm]

kookie: YOONGI JUST SCREAMED IM DED™

sin: what

yes: it was so funny omg

no: FUCK OFF HOSEOK THIS WAS YOUR FAULT

mom™: what happened

gucci: everything was silent in class and then hoseok's phone starts ringing and it's fucking circus by britney spears

yes: and then yoongi screamed

no: I AM EASILY STARTLED

sin: i guess yoongles couldn't handle britney, bitch

no: JIMBLES I WILL ACTUALLY FIGHT YOU

sin: please don't i am soft™

kookie: jIMBLES


	3. one hop this time

[8:44am]

gucci: someone just started playing the cha cha slide during class 

kookie: that would be me

no: jeongguk watch out

kookie: what

yes: EVERYONE STOP DECKING EACH OTHER IN CLASS

sin: what

yes: yoongi just decked jeongguk

sin: good

kookie: hey guys

mom™: what

kookie: onE HOP THIS TIME

yes: OH MY GOD YOONGI 

no: HE HAD IT COMING

yes: YOONGS I LOVE YOU BUT YOU GOTTA STOP

no: I LOVE YOU TOO BUT N E V E R

strong power thank you: that was beautiful

gucci: #oscarworthy

no: fuck off

 

[11:32am]

sin: YOONGI OH MY GOD

yes: YOONGI JUST TOOK TAEHYUNGS BAG AND R A N

gucci: gotta go F A S T

no: don't make the throw it near the 12 year olds

strong power thank you: YOONGI YOU MONSTER

mom™: we're all sitting at/running near the same table why are we saying all this in the chat

sin: shush seokjin

 

[12:23pm]

[strong power thank you has added hansol chwe to the chat]

mom™: i thought he'd have some kind of dumbass username

hansol chwe: welllllll i didn't make this account 

mom™: who did ???

hansol chwe: honestly idk

mom™: how ??????????

no: namjoon why do you have his   
contact and why is he in this chat

hansol chwe: wow

strong power thank you: iT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

hansol chwe: W O W

yes: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY ADD SOMEONE TO A CHAT

strong power thank you: IDK

hansol chwe: W 0 W

[hansol chwe has added coups to the chat]

hansol chwe: dad they're bullying me

coups: i don't care

[coups has left the chat]

gucci: hansol do you have a daddy kink

hansol chwe: NO

no: who tf was that

hansol chwe: fren 

no: okay but who

hansol chwe: f r e n

strong power thank you: i think that was that guy

hansol chwe: yes very specific

[hansol chwe has added jesus to the chat]

hansol chwe: y'all need him

no: who tf is this

jesus: hi

hansol chwe: they're bullying me

jesus: rip

no: okay but who is this

hansol chwe: my boyfriend joshua

jesus: ye

yes: as in joshua hong

jesus: ye

sin: i thought you were dating jeonghan

jesus: yes

hansol chwe: our group is brought together by one thing

gucci: that you're all gay

hansol chwe: well yeah

hansol chwe: but also that we're all dating joshua

jesus: ya

jesus: i'm poly and pan gotta date everyone

hansol chwe: that's the longest sentence you've ever typed

jesus: ya

hansol chwe: dammit

kookie: hey joshua

jesus: hi

hansol chwe: also joshua do you know who made this account for me

jesus: probably seungkwan

hansol chwe: thought so

[hansol chwe has added booyonce to the chat]

booyonce: heyo

hansol chwe: fuck you

[hansol chwe has removed booyonce from the chat]

jesus: hansol you're sitting next to him

jesus: we're all sitting on/at the same table 

jesus: aaaaaaand hansol just got slapped again

sin: again????

gucci: kinky

sin: istg taehyung

strong power thank you: joshua how many people are you dating

jesus: 12

mom™: how do you survive ?????? i barely manage having 5 children

strong power thank you: SEOKJIN DO WE NEED TO GO OVER THIS AGAIN

jesus: i'm barely surviving with one but i love them so it's okay

no: that's adorable !!!!

strong power thank you: since when do you find things adorable

no: since i started dating hoseok

no: i tHINK I BROKE HOSEOK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

hansol chwe: awwwwwww

no: hansol i don't think i've talked to you in person but i will deck you

jesus: don't deck him

no: okay

[2:53pm]

strong power thank you: sally's being an asshole

no: what did sally do

strong power thank you: being an asshole

strong power thank you: fuk u ned

no: what 

no: what did ned do

strong power thank you: ...

strong power thank you: being an asshole

no: that doesn't make sense

strong power thank you: yes

no: what ???

strong power thank you: ned is doing being an asshole

strong power thank you: fuck you trevor i'm your lawyer now

no: wtf are you studying 

sin: law

no: okay but who's trevor

strong power thank you: not an asshole


	4. you egg

[8:22am]

 

no: people forget things

yes: what

no: like i forget to give two shits

yes: what

gucci: which class are you even in

no: math

hansol chwe: of course

[9:34am]

jesus: hansol just started animating that guy with the eyebrows from the maze runner's eyebrows detaching from his face, attaching to his back and making him fly away

gucci: why

hansol chwe: i felt like it

hansol chwe: "ict is wildt" -kim mingyu 2017

no: which classroom are you in?

hansol chwe: ICT04 why

no: brb

hansol chwe: what

yes: yOONGI GET BACK IN YOUR CHAIR

strong power thank you: HE JUST LEFT THE CLASS

yes: OUR TEACHER IS YELLING AT HIM BUT HE ISN'T LISTENING

sin: o h m y g o d

jesus: HES IN OUR CLASSROOM WHAT

jesus: HE DECKED HANSOL AND MINGHAO STARTED CHEERING IM

jesus: OUR TEACHER STARTED CLAPPING AND HE BOWED AND LEFT THE ROOM

jesus: EVERYONE STARTED APPLAUDING INCLUDING HANSOL

hansol chwe: i deserved it

[11:42am]

yes: they're having two dollar hot chocolate at the canteen

no: what a ripoff

hansol chwe: yeah it's monday first break

yes: wait hasn't that already been

hansol chwe: its next monday you egg

strong power thank you: well that's an insult i've never heard

no: you've clearly never seen the tøp fandom then

[12:21pm]

strong power thank you: our teacher just told taehyung to "remove the pen from his head"

gucci: stop exposing me like this

jesus: speaking of which hansol give me back my pen

hansol chwe: i'll trade you the pen for my friendship

jesus: that doesn't make sense we're dating

hansol chwe: yeah but i'll also give you my friendship

jesus: didn't i already have your friendship

hansol chwe: no

no: wait what is going on

jesus: hansol stole my pen

hansol chwe: no i didn't i'm giving you my friendship in exchange for your pen

yes: wait aren't you guys sitting next to each other

jesus: how did you know that

no: he's in your class

jesus: o

hansol chwe: and no actually we're sitting across from each other

yes: you can still talk ?????

jesus: mingyu is talking about doggos and he's v happy and v cute and we don't want to interrupt

hansol chwe: and at the other end of the table is absolute hell

[12:53pm]

yes: i have learned that yoongi becomes over-excited in the presence of kinder surprise eggs

no: fuck off there are stickers

kookie: awwww

no: hey jeongguk

kookie: what

no: shut the fuck up

kookie: okay

 

[1:34pm]

gucci: okay so

gucci: serious question

jesus: what

kookie: how many nuggets acting as a pile of cushions would it take for two four year olds to fall down a hole that you can't see the bottom of to not die when they fall on the nuggets

mom™: what are you guys talking about

gucci: it doesn't matter, but would it take a small-ish pile of nuggets or infinite nuggets or what

jesus: ask hansol he'll probably know

hansol chwe: yeah prolly

hansol chwe: at least two

gucci: okay i'll ask nayeon she'll have an actual answer

hansol chwe: ummmmm at least two is an actual answer exc00z u


	5. someone help yoongi please

[9:32am]

hansol chwe: man i love being punched in the kidney

strong power thank you: what

hansol chwe: feels great

mom™: ,,,,,,,

mom™: what

[9:54am]

sin: jeongguk just held up an apple to his ear and said "i can hear the ocean" with a completely straight face

sin: yOONGI JUST STOLE THE APPLE YOONGLES WTF

kookie: YOONGI GIVE ME MY OCEAN BACK

no: JEONGGUK ISTG

[10:23am]

kookie: i was talking to bambam and he kept saying touché after everything i said and then hansol said that he wasn't using the word "correctingly" and wendy just started laughing like a madwoman at the other side of the room

jesus: i think i can hear her from the class next door

[11:13am]

gucci: GUYS WE HAVE A NEW DEVELOPMENT

no: taehyung istg

gucci: you don't even know what i'm talking about

no: yes i do

strong power thank you: yoongi knows everything

gucci: fair point

gucci: anYWAY YOONGI HAS A CRUSH

no: SHUT THE FUCK UP TAEHYUNG NO I DONT

yes: AWWWWW YOONGI HAS A CRUSH THATS ADORABLE

jesus: this is the gayest thing i've ever witnessed

sin: you have twelve boyfriends and one of them is yoon jeonghan aka the gayest person on the planet

jesus: *this is the second gayest thing i have ever witnessed

hansol chwe: once you took us all to a lady gaga concert and you cried into seungcheol's shirt while muttering "she's so glorious... my mother..."

jesus: **this is the third gayest thing i have ever witnessed

kookie: anyway so who does yoongi like

[no has removed kookie from the chat]

hansol chwe: w h a t

no: he doesn't need to know

hansol chwe: w h a T

no: like he has two boyfriends anyway that's enough for him to worry about

hansol chwe: w h A T

no: and i had to help him study for his chemistry test and he was really stressed about it so he doesn't need to deal with my love life rn

hansol chwe: w H A T

yes: did yoongi just say "rn"

hansol chwe: W H A T

no: THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I LIKE JEONGGUK

hansol chwe: A A A A AA A A A A A A A A a A a A a A aA a

gucci: yoongi you keep making it worse you better just stop talking

no: good idea

sin: are we gonna add jeongguk back to this chat

no: never

no: he is forever banished from this chat

no: never to be heard from again

[strong power thank you has added kookie to the chat]

no: why would you do that

strong power thank you: seokjin kept making weird noises and wouldn't stop until i added him back okay i had to

yes: aren't you in class rn

strong power thank you: yep and our teacher is incredibly worried and confused

[no has removed themselves from the chat]

[kookie has added no to the chat]

kookie: hey yoongi

no: what

kookie: wanna date

no: yeah okay

hansol chwe: A A A AA A A a A a A a A a A a A a


	6. sugakookie r i s e

[12:43pm]

yes: GUYS YOONGI DID THE CUTEST THING

no: IT WASNT THAT CUTE SHUT THE FUCK UP

kookie: YES IT WAS

no: IT WAS N O T

gucci: what happened

yes: HE JUST BACK HUGGED JEONGGUK AND KISSED HIS CHEEK IT WAS A D O R A B L E

strong power thank you: !!!

strong power thank you: that is the cutest goddamn thing i've ever heard

no: WHY ARE YOU GUYS OVERREACTING SO MUCH

kookie: BECAUSE YOURE CUTE DAMMIT YOONGI A C C E P T T H E C U T E

no: I WILL N E V E R

sin: yoongi please

no: N E V E R

kookie: but y o o n g i

no: f i n e

kookie: good bc yOURE ADORABLE

no: OH MY GOD

yes: HE JUST SPUN JEONGGUK AROUND AND KISSED HIM IT WAS REALLY CUTE

kookie: i never knew min yoongi was such a romantic

no: IM NOT SHUT UP

kookie: yes you are

no: okay yeah i am

yes: awwwwww

no: hoseok you're lucky i love you

yes: ik

[1:23pm]

strong power thank you: today has been so weird

jesus: how

strong power thank you: right now all seven of us are sitting on/around a table

strong power thank you: jimin is sleeping on taehyung, taehyung has a textbook on his head to "absorb the knowledge", hoseok his making a flower crown for seokjin and jeongguk and yoongi are just staring fondly at each other and cuddling

jesus: awwww

hansol chwe: JOSH LETS GO JOIN THEM

jesus: what

jesus: hansol just picked me up and now he's carrying me around to find you guys

jesus: everyone else is following us

jesus: please help

strong power thank you: i would but jeongguk and yoongi are adorable together

no: shut up

[2:11pm]

no: guys i want death

yes: why???? are you okay????

no: jeongguk's adorable and i want to die but like in a good way

yes: what

no: ya know what i mean

yes: not really no

no: he's being fucking cute and now i'm feeling e m o t i o n s and i want death

kookie: yoongi no

no: yoongi yes

gucci: yoongi emotions are normal, especially since you guys have only been dating for a few hours

no: i refuse

yes: yoongi you can't

no: fuck you i do what i want

yes: yoongi no

no: yoongi yes

[no has named the chat jeongguk appreciation squad]

sin: yes

gucci: yes

[2:35pm]

[no has added sin, gucci, kookie and yes to the chat]

[no has named the chat poly]

kookie: perfect

yes: yes

sin: yes

gucci: yes

no: hansol said that he has a chat like this with his bfs so i figured we should have one even though not all of us are mutually dating

yes: that's actually really practical

no: i feel like we should have different names in this chat though so we don't get confused

kookie: good idea

[kookie has changed their name to jeongguk]

[no has changed their name to yoongi]

[gucci has changed their name to taehyung]

[sin has changed their name to jimin]

[yoongi has changed yes's name to ray of sunshine]

yoongi: perfect


	7. yoongi is an imposter

[9:43am]

hansol chwe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

no: hansol wtf

yes: you okay fren 

[hansol chwe has sent an image of halsey and lauren jauregui hugging bc i’m trash for them both and he is too now]

kookie: das gay

[hansol chwe has changed their name to straight for halsey]

jesus: i feel betrayed 

straight for halsey: josh you're literally dating 11 other people

jesus: s t i l l

 

[10:32am]

strong power thank you: okay you guys don’t understand how cute yoongi is around jeongguk oh my god 

yes: i agree yes 

sin: jeongguk’s been so happy so tae and i are happy it’s all just h a p p y 

no: you guys do realise we’re both reading this

mom™: yep

kookie: you also realise that we’re all sitting together and could have this conversation out loud

straight for halsey: yeah even josh and i are with you guys rn

strong power thank you: s h u s h

 

[11:23am]

 

[straight for halsey has changed their name to gay for josh]

jesus: awwww <3

[gay for josh has changed their name to *gay for josh dun]

jesus: awww :(

gucci: wtf just happened 

[*gay for josh dun has sent an image to the chat of josh dun bc he cute]

kookie: oh okay now i see

 

[12:12pm]

 

yes: jimin why are you never in this chat

sin: oh i'm in the chat i just /lurk/

kookie: stip

sin: nu

[12:34pm]

*gay for josh dun: so you guys know iggy azalea 

jesus: yeah

*gay for josh dun: who names their kid iggy like is it short for igloo or igneous rock

mom™: ,,,,,,,,,,,,

no: nobody tell him

[1:43pm]

jesus: we walked into chemistry and it was really cold so bambam said to turn on the “air con hot” and our teacher fell out of his chair 

gucci: oh my god

no: i think he died

sin: jesus christ guys

*gay for josh dun: yes jesus is here 

jesus: hansol 

*gay for josh dun: yes my precious lovely boyfriend

jesus: i hate you

*gay for josh dun: love you tooooo

[2:44pm]

kookie: gUYS

sin: wHAT

kookie: YOONGI DIDNT KICK ME WHEN I MADE A PUN

sin: W H A T

gucci: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOONGIS OKAY AND NOT AN IMPOSTER

no: GUYS OH MY GOD AM I NOT ALLOWED TO NOT KICK MY BOYFRIEND

gucci: NO NO YOURE NOT

kookie: HEY

mom™: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON

jesus: i don’t know

[3:17pm]

strong power thank you: guys the best thing just happened

*gay for josh dun: we say that a lot in this chat

strong power thank you: yeah but anyway bambam said something and seokjin started laughing and jihoon called him an anime kookaburra

jesus: OH MY GOD THATS THE BEST THING EVER

strong power thank you: IKR

[2:03am]

gucci: "lefou is the first openly gay disney character" umm exc00z me???? ryan evans didn't dance for this

sin: taehyung it's 2 in the morning wHy are you doing this

gucci: R Y A N I S A H O M O S E X U A L

gucci: and no one can convince me otherwise

*gay for josh dun: tru.


	8. a/n

hey uhhhh sorry this isn't a proper chapter bUT i'd recommend reading my other group chat au called fite me, even if you aren't in those fandoms. shit's bouta happen sO yeah.


	9. itz ya boy troye

[10:32am]

sin: y'all

strong power thank you: why would you say that

sin: I JUST SAID Y'ALL WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME

gucci: jimin why are you so overdramatic

gucci: wait never mind

sin: sO YEAH uhhhhhhh has anyone in my biology class done the homework

jesus: i think seokjin did ????????

strong power thank you: he said that he has but he forgot it

*gay for josh dun: hang on i'll ask wonwoo

*gay for josh dun: wonwoo said he did it but it's probably wrong

sin: i didn't ask if it was correct i just need a n s w e r s

*gay for josh dun: okay then he said to come to the library first break

sin: tell him i said he's a blessing to humanity

*gay for josh dun: he said thank

sin: welc

[11:54am]

[*gay for josh dun has added itz ya boy troye to the chat]

itz ya boy troye: uh what

*gay for josh dun: shit sorry wrong person

[*gay for josh dun has removed itz ya boy troye from the chat]

strong power thank you: um

*gay for josh dun: what

strong power thank you: ummmmmmm

kookie: is he okay

strong power thank you: ummmmmMMM

gucci: i think he's about to fall out of his chair

strong power thank you: UMMMMMM

*gay for josh dun: namjoon what

strong power thank you: U M M M M M M M M M M M

mom™: namjoon use actual words jfc

strong power thank you: hANSOL DO YOU REALISE WHO THAT WAS

*gay for josh dun: nah

strong power thank you: THAT WAS LORD OF THE GAYS

jesus: EXCUSE YOU

strong power thank you: THAT WAS TROYE SIVAN YOU DICKSHIT

mom™: wATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE

[strong power thank you has added itz ya boy troye to the chat]

itz ya boy troye: what

no: i'm so sorry

yes: rip

itz ya boy troye: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

itz ya boy troye: what

*gay for josh dun: oh god i can see namjoon typing

*gay for josh dun: he has caps lock on and he's only pressing the a button oh god send help

strong power thank you: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

itz ya boy troye: uhhhhhhhhh hi again ??

itz ya boy troye: who are you people

itz ya boy troye: is he okay ???

jesus: no no he's not

itz ya boy troye: wait how did i get here

*gay for josh dun: i was trying to add one of my friends to the chat and my thumbs are too big for the fucking screen and i mistyped

no: wait who were trying to add

*gay for josh dun: mingyu

jesus: why

*gay for josh dun: to tell him to fuk off

jesus: you're literally sitting on him rn you could've said that out loud

itz ya boy troye: that's gay

*gay for josh dun: ya

itz ya boy troye: i like your style

*gay for josh dun: thank

jesus: we're all gay

mom™: well yeah josh you're dating 12 guys

jesus: i am aware of this yes

itz ya boy troye: sick

jesus: thank

itz ya boy troye: so are you guys south korean ????

no: yeah

itz ya boy troye: you guys are good at english wow

strong power thank you: three of us are fluent

*gay for josh dun: joshua and i are american and namjoon's just really smart

itz ya boy troye: ah okay

itz ya boy troye: hey guys can i add someone real quick

jesus: ye

itz ya boy troye: okay rad thanks

[itz ya boy troye has added ukulelerapbøy to the chat]

ukulelerapbøy: frick u i am gay for josh dun

[ukulelerapbøy has removed themselves from the chat]

yes: who the fuck was that

kookie: YOONGI JUST SCREAMED WHAT

no: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

yes: WHAT IS HE OKAY

kookie: I DONT KNOW BUT OUR TEACHER IS SO WORRIED AND IM TRYING TO CALM HIM DOWN

yes: TAEHYUNG JUST RAN OUT OF THE ROOM

sin: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TAE

gucci: I HAVE TO FILM THIS

gucci: BUT I ALSO MUST LOVE AND SUPPORT YOONGLES

no: thanks

gucci: welc

kookie: HE DIDNT STOP SCREAMING TO TYPE THAT

itz ya boy troye: i still don't know who you people are but this is the funniest shit i've ever witnessed

sin: high school is w i l d

kookie: TAEHYUNG JUST B U R S T INTO OUR CLASSROOM AND IS HUGGING YOONGI WHILE SCREAMING IN HARMONY WITH HIM

strong power thank you: o h m y g o d

itz ya boy troye: how old even are you guys

mom™: we're all 17

jesus: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

*gay for josh dun: YOU KNOW IM ONLY SEVENTEEN I ONLY GOT A FEW DOLLARS

jesus: d e a r g o d h e l p m e a n d m y e l e v e n o t h e r b o y f r i e n d s

itz ya boy troye: also who is jeongguk and why are we collectively appreciating him

kookie: that would be me hi

no: we are appreciating him because in this house we all love and support jeon jeongguk

kookie: <33333

no: <33333

sin: <33333

gucci: <33333

itz ya boy troye: i still don't know what's happening but it's cute

kookie: you four are the cutest i love you guys

sin: we collectively love you too

[1:21pm]

yes: g u y s o h m y g o d a t h i n g h a s o c c u r r e d

no: hobi i love you but dO NOT

yes: but y o o n g i

gucci: wait what's happening???????

no: hoseok you better not

yes: f i n e

gucci: wait what

no: you saw nothing tae

gucci: uhhhhh okay ??

[1:54pm]

*gay for josh dun: gUYS

jesus: what

*gay for josh dun: bambam IS drugs

jesus: what

itz ya boy troye: what the heck is a bambam

sin: kunpimook bhuwakul

itz ya boy troye: okay bambam makes more sense now

[2:23pm]

yes: jeongguk is pinnochio confirmed

gucci: what

no: he's attaching the post it notes from my copy of romeo and juliet to his nose

*gay for josh dun: what

yes: yoongi threw his juice box at him and jeongguk said "hey that's my apple"

no: it's mY JUICE BOX

jesus: hansol just said "why is the wind"

gucci: what

*gay for josh dun: why is the wind ???

gucci: i heard rosé yell "WHY CAN YOU CANT" at jisoo from the other side of the room

strong power thank you: what the fuck is going on

itz ya boy troye: my other chat is worse dw

no: jeongguk sit down

kookie: no yOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

no: JEONGGUK SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

kookie: N E V E R

itz ya boy troye: wait what

gucci: JEONGGUK JUST STOOD UP WITH THE JUICE BOX AND HAS BEGUN RUNNING AROUND WITH IT SCREAMING

itz ya boy troye: HOW HAVE YOU GUYS NOT BEEN SUSPENDED

jesus: that's not nearly as bad as the time yoongi ran out of class, decked hansol at the other end of the school and then calmly left

no: the teacher clapped

no: i didn't get in trouble at all

itz ya boy troye: it's almost as if the plot requires all these crazy things to happen for comedic effect

kookie: what the fuck

gucci: okay jeongguk has stopped running and screaming

no: good now sit your ass down

no: HE JUST SAT IN MY LAP JESUS CHRIST JEONGGUK

*gay for josh dun: no joshua is jesus

jesus: hansol i love you but i hate you so much

[3:17pm]

strong power thank you: you know this whole adventure today has been so weird

itz ya boy troye: waddaya mean by that buddieo

strong power thank you: hansol accidentally added an actual celebrity to this chat when he meant to add mingyu, yoongi cried, bambam is drugs, juice boxes were thrown and called apples and jeongguk spent the rest of the break sitting in yoongi's lap

no: he made me carry him to class and he's been sitting on my desk all lesson

sin: why does he keep doing that

no: i have no idea

strong power thank you: so yeah this has been a l o t


	10. shrink the clones not clone the shrinks

[7:47am]

no: hey how close is someone to getting to school

gucci: uhhhh i'm walking in now

no: okay thanks

no: i'm here early and i'm bored

gucci: why are you here early ????

no: i woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so i figured i should just go to school

sin: since when does min yoongi do productive shit ????

no: since now

gucci: well i always get here early so like yeah

sin: ...

sin: OH WAIT I GET IT

no: don't say a n y t h i n g

gucci: what

no: jimin's weird

sin: HEY

no: jimin why are you up so early

sin: sleep is for the weak

gucci: jimin go the fuck to sleep

sin: nah i gotta leave soon anyway

no: okay but if you fall asleep in class and i hit you it’s your own fault

[9:32am]

jesus: hansol just said “i am the bitch” and wonwoo just yelled “BETCH” from the other side of the room

no: what

itz ya boy troye: what is a wonwoo

*gay for josh dun: he slep

itz ya boy troye: oh okay thanks

*gay for josh dun: welc

jesus: bambam turned around and yelled to wonwoo “thanks for the contribute”

[10:21am]

jesus: HANSOL

*gay for josh dun: yo

jesus: minghao just said “fuck bitches” in english

*gay for josh dun: minghao you’re gay

jesus: HANSOL YOURE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD TEACH HIM HOW TO SAY THAT

*gay for josh dun: w0w how dare you accuse me of such a thing

*gay for josh dun: although i did do it, you are correct

gucci: hansol why did you just use punctuation

*gay for josh dun: i am sorry for breaking the sacred no punctuation rule

jesus: NONE OF THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HANSOL TEACHING MINGHAO HOW TO SWEAR IN ENGLISH

*gay for josh dun: well then

*gay for josh dun: don’t talk to soonyoung

jesus: O H M Y G O D

jesus: JIHOON JUST HIT HIS LEG ON THE TABLE AND YELLED MOTHERFUCKER AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

sin: PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE FILMED THAT

kookie: i think bambam did

sin: GET HIS NUMBER

gucci: you don’t have bambam’s number

sin: no

jesus: everyone has bambam’s number

sin: well then everyone can get fucked

jesus: L A N G U A G E

[11:42am]

*gay for josh dun: hey guys

no: what

*gay for josh dun: e v a p o r a t i o n

no: what the fuck

jesus: bambam just yelled “PRECIPITATION”

yes: can we just get a muzzle for bambam

yes: wait no that’s weird forget i said that

no: yeah that’s probably for the best

itz ya boy troye: i just hit miles with a trolley

sin: what the heck is a trolley and what the heck is a miles

itz ya boy troye: a trolley is a shopping cart and miles is jesus with contradictory branding

mom™: wait

mom™: o h m y g o d

strong power thank you: he’s about to start screaming

strong power thank you: AND NOW HES SCREAMING D E A R G O D H E L P

mom™: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

itz ya boy troye: i’m guessing you’ve heard of him

mom™: MILES HAS GOOD M A N N E R S AND THATS WHAT M A T T E R S

*gay for josh dun: OH WAIT I GET IT NOW

[12:25pm]

*gay for josh dun: i made a lesbian

no: what

*gay for josh dun: i m a d e a l e s b i a n

*gay for josh dun: i’m making her a girlfriend

no: wait josh what is happening

jesus: i don’t know

*gay for josh dun: I MADE TWO LESBIANS

no: hansol what the fuck

jesus: if i wasn’t gay i’d date them

[*gay for josh dun has sent two images to the chat. they're pictures of two dnd figurines on hero forge]

*gay for josh dun: i’m buying the mini lesbians

no: hansol aren’t you in class rn

*gay for josh dun: yep

no: why do you have an apple computer

*gay for josh dun: i am a music

no: oh okay

jesus: HES ACTUALLY BUYING THE LESBIANS

*gay for josh dun: damn right

*gay for josh dun: josh can you buy me the lesbians

jesus: how much are they

*gay for josh dun: like 30 bucks each

jesus: no

*gay for josh dun: josh please

jesus: what will i get in return

*gay for josh dun: uhhhhhhh hugs

jesus: good enough

[1:11pm]

sin: jeongguk just said “shrink the clones not clone the shrinks”

no: jeongguk i love you but no

kookie: :)))))

jesus: guys oh my god

no: dO NOT

jesus: but guys o h m y g o d

no: joshua if you say anything i will steal your entire pencil case

*gay for josh dun: as opposed to half of his pencil case

no: hansol i will throw your bag into a classroom of twelve year olds

*gay for josh dun: no pls

*gay for josh dun: josh what's the thing

no: tell him nothing

jesus: i'll tell him in real life not here

no: tell him n o t h i n g

*gay for josh dun: WAIT I GET IT

no: hANSOL I SWEAR TO GOD

gucci: what

no: it's nothing don't worry

gucci: okay

[2:32pm]

[private chat with strong power thank you and no]

strong power thank you: jeongguk told me

no: o h m y g o d w h y

strong power thank you: just go talk to him

no: n e v e r i must contain and bottle up my feelings and wait for them to go away

strong power thank you: no don't do that

no: look i appreciate your concern but i can handle this myself

strong power thank you: yoongi

strong power thank you: what if i talk to him for you

no: about what

strong power thank you: idk

strong power thank you: i can ask him "hey uhhh if everyone in our group who you aren't already dating asked you out who would you say yes to"

no: idk do whatever you want oTHER THAN TELL HIM

strong power thank you: just talk to him yoongi for the love of god

no: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

no: i'll consider it

strong power thank you: okay good

strong power thank you: i really appreciate it yoongi

no: why

strong power thank you: r e a s o n s

no: ..........

no: that's ominous

strong power thank you: yep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my buddy bean for the l e s b i a n s i love them


	11. fiNALLY

[9:12am]

kookie: GUYS HELP

sin: what the fuck jeongguk it's too early

kookie: DONT BLAME ME OKAY YOONGI JUST ATTACKED ME WITH HIS EMOTIONS

no: SHUT UP I AM EMOTIONLESS

strong power thank you: yoongi you cried because a dog licked your hand and you "felt loved"

no: NAMJOON I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT NEVER HAPPENED

*gay for josh dun: oh my god

[*gay for josh dun has changed their name to #drama]

jesus: hansol i love you but no

#drama: i love you too

kookie: ANYWAY IM STILL BEING ATTACKED SEND HELP

gucci: uhhhhh what why is yoongi finally showing emotions

no: IM NOT FOR THE RECORD

mom™: can everyone just chill out for a second it's early

jesus: i second that

mom™: why must there always be drama????

itz ya boy troye: because if there wasn't the plot wouldn't be interesting or compelling

yes: why does he keep doing that

no: anyway i hAVE NO EMOTIONS

strong power thank you: yoongi don't make me expose you to this chat

no: i have emotions because emotions are what make us human

strong power thank you: i think that's better ???

kookie: guys i'm still under attack

mom™: where even are you guys

kookie: we're in class

mom™: how is your teacher letting you get away with this shit????

no: we have a substitute

mom™: o

[10:32am]

 

gucci: hey guys

sin: waddup

gucci: is anyone ever gonna tell me the thing

sin: what thing

gucci: the thing with yoongi ???

sin: oh that thing

sin: probably not

[11:13am]

#drama: guys

mom™: yeah

#drama: junhui is adorable

#drama: that is all

jesus: yes

mom™: what's he doing ???

#drama: just living, breathing, existing

mom™: oh okay

jesus: i love him

#drama: same

#drama: SHIT HE SAW THE CHAT

#drama: he says he loves you too josh

jesus: :)))))

[12:21pm]

[private chat with strong power thank you and no]

strong power thank you: y o o n g i

no: what

strong power thank you: i thought you were gonna talk to him ???

no: actually i only said i would consider it

strong power thank you: you've been so distant from him

strong power thank you: he asked me why and i had to lie and say you were just stressed, so now he's worried about you

no: tell him i'm fine then

strong power thank you: yoongi please

no: i can't

strong power thank you: why not

no: because whenever i try my body won't let me. my head is screaming at him that i love him but i can't say anything

strong power thank you: oh

strong power thank you: just

strong power thank you: just try talking to him alone or something

no: ...

no: i'll give it a shot i guess

strong power thank you: fucking finally

no: shut up

[1:03pm]

[private chat with gucci and no]

no: hey taehyung

gucci: yeah

no: can i talk to you later?

gucci: okay. when?

no: lunch ??? it's not like you'd skip class

gucci: what if i did skip class

no: then i'd say meet me near the library

gucci: i'll be right there

[1:53pm]

yes: guys has anyone seen yoongi and taehyung

strong power thank you: FUCKING FINALLY OH MY GOD

yes: what

strong power thank you: you'll see

[2:32pm]

#drama: GUYS

jesus: OH MY GOD

yes: WHAT

#drama: SO JOSHUA AND I ARE AT THE LIBRARY TO RETURN BOOKS AND SHIT AND O H M Y G O D

yes: W H A T

jesus: TAEHYUNG AND YOONGI ARE MAKING OUT BEHIND THE LIBRARY

kookie: FINALLY JESUS CHRIST

yes: took them long enough


	12. new friends

[8:13am]

 

#drama: guYs

no: it’s too early

#drama: nO ITS NOT

no: yes it is

kookie: we’re in class ??? like it’s school time rn yoongi

no: i am aware of this

kookie: what is it hansol

#drama: due to my boyfriends all diTCHING ME TODAY

jesus: IM SORRY WE HAVE BAND CAMP ITS YOUR OWN FAULT FOR FORGETTING ABOUT IT

#drama: SHUT UP JOSHUA

#drama: aNYWAY i have made friends can i add them

gucci: fuck it why not

#drama: rad

[#drama has added yeol, gay boi, yeLL and kyungsoo to the chat]

kyungsoo: hansol, what the fuck is your username?

#drama: #drama

yes: it’s better than his old one

kyungsoo: what?

no: “*gay for josh dun”

strong power thank you: why

gay boi: waddup bitches

kookie: waddup

kookie: wow kyungsoo how creative

itz ya boy troye: i mean it’s not like his username matters, the author is just gonna change it when he comes up with a joke of some kind

kyungsoo: what the fuck was that

mom™: he does that sometimes

yes: we’ve learned to not question it

yeLL: hEY THERE HANSOL’S FRIENDS

jesus: wow #friendzoned

strong power thank you: never do that again

#drama: friendzoning isnt even a real thing

#drama: and i spent all morning before school professing my undying love for you

kookie: awwww

jesus: ik i was doin a joke

yeLL: anyway hellO

kyungsoo: i apologise on his behalf

no: i apologise on hansol’s behalf

#drama: shut up yoongles i’m lovely

sin: y o o n g l e s

mom™: hansol who are these people ?? are they a bad influence on you ???

strong power thank you: if anything hansol’s the bad influence

#drama: wOw namjoon

#drama: yeLL is jongdae, gay boi is baekhyun, yeol is chanyeol and kyungsoo is kyungsoo

gucci: wow1!1! kyungsoo is kyungsoo?!?!??1!?1?1?1!!

sin: wOw i nEvEr wOuLdVe kNoWn1!1!1!!!!!1!1!1!1!1

#drama: wow guys guess i’ll go hang out with my new friends they won’t bULLY ME

no: please take him

#drama: wow, yoongi, i’m crushed

kookie: chwe hansol ?? using ?? PUNCTUATION ???

#drama: it’ll never happen again so treasure this moment while you can

kookie: sniffs

kookie: i will

yes: okay so how did you befriend these people and why do i not know them

kyungsoo: we all just transferred here, so that’s why you don’t know us

#drama: and they’re friends with oh sehun who’s friends with johnny seo and i’m friends with johnny so now i know them

sin: i hate that i was able to read that

jesus: i hate that i read that in his voice

gucci: now,,,,,, time for the important question,,,,,,,,

gucci: how gay are y’all ????

yeol: hella

yeLL: we’re so gay that i’m dating baekhyun and chanyeol and kyungsoo are dating

gay boi: i think that’s pretty ~ h o m o s e c k s u a l ~

kookie: i like them they can stay

kyungsoo: help me

 

[10:23am]

yeol: yells into the void

gay boi: mood

#drama: yeols into the void

[no has removed #drama from the chat]

no: he deserved it okay

kyungsoo: sigh

[kyungsoo has added #drama to the chat]

#drama: wOW YOONGI I CANT BELIEVE IM BEING DISRESPECTED IN MY OWN HOUSE

no: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

kookie: hansol we’re at school

#drama: t h e d i s r e s p e c t

yes: anyway why is chanyeol yelling into the void

kyungsoo: it’s so stupid

kyungsoo: just like him

yeol: wow soo i thought you loved me

#drama: sOO

kyungsoo: hansol don’t make me strangle you to death

gucci: kinky

kyungsoo: n o

yeol: anyway i’m yelling because like,,,,,,,,,, kyungsoo is just so ???? i love him ?????

gay boi: kyungsoo was singing to himself in class and starting playing with chanyeol’s hair

yeLL: it was adorable

kyungsoo: shut up no it wasn’t

[yeol has changed kyungsoo’s name to squishsoo]

squishsoo: no

squishsoo: i am pure evil

squishsoo: all i feel is rage and mild annoyance

gay boi: awwwwwwwwwww

gay boi: vbjdviqedxw,eojvkmld,./w;ngoci3fx.’/wjr3fwmp

sin: what

yeol: kYUNGSOO STOP ATTACKING BAEKHYUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

strong power thank you: why are you texting rn ????

yeol: for the lols

 

[12:11pm]

mom™: children

strong power thank you: seOKJIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THIS AGAIN

mom™: anyway namjoon where are the children

strong power thank you: ,,,,,,,,,,,

mom™: kim namjoon

strong power thank you: i’m not allowed to say

strong power thank you: i was threatened

mom™: by who ??

strong power thank you: yoongi

strong power thank you: he’s scary okay

mom™: naMJOON WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN I NEED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE MOTHER™

#drama: namjoon tell him nothing

mom™: what

#drama: shit i meant to send that privately

jesus: language

#drama: SHUT UP JOSHUA YOURE NOT MY DAD

jesus: if i was that would be gross

gay boi: :^)

squishsoo: baekhyun, why?

gay boi: it could be worse

squishsoo: i would ask how but honestly, i don’t want to know

gay boi: >:^)

squishsoo: i d i d n ‘ t w a n t t o k n o w

yeol: he even uses proper grammar when he does the spaces for e m p h a s i s thing

yeol: i think i’m in love

squishsoo: shut up chanyeol

yeol: you love me

squishsoo: ,,,,,,,

squishsoo: shit yeah i do

yeol: soO THATS ADORABLE I LOVE U

squishsoo: nevermind, i take that back

mom™: okay but someone please tell me where my kids are

squishsoo: …

squishsoo: i’m not allowed to say

yeol: also if everyone’s your kids then wouldn’t that be incest

squishsoo: c h a n y e o l

mom™: loOK MY KIDS ARE MISSING RN AND IM A MOTHER JUST TRYING TO DO HIS BEST FOR HIS KIDS OKAY SO SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE

gucci: we skipped class lmao

mom™: tAEHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK

#drama: geez seokjin watch your language

mom™: SHUT THE FUCK UP HANSOL I DONT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR ATTITUDE

strong power thank you: JESUS CHRIST GUYS

 

[2:43pm]

yeLL: so kyungsoo on a scale of 1 to 10 how much regret do you feel rn

squishsoo: a solid 7.5

gay boi: wow i was expecting that to be like,,,,,,, an 11 or some shit

squishsoo: well chanyeol’s being cute right now and i’m lying on his lap so that knocked it down a few points

squishsoo: jESUS CHRIST CHANYEOL CALM DOWN

yes: wait what

squishsoo: HE JUST STARTING SQUEALING AND HE THREW HIS FUCKING PHONE JESUS FUCK

yeol: excuse u it’s called squeeing

mom™: awwww

gucci: WHY DOES KYUNGSOO GET AWAY WITH SWEARING AND I FUCKING DONT

mom™: TAEHYUNG I WILL GROUND YOU

gucci: OH MY GOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay sO i recently got into exo and i was like 'fuck it' and added chinguline. idk if i'll add any of the other members but like for now my bias and my bias wreckers are enough. i've been working on some exo oneshots and i'll post them eventually but for now just enjoy this (hopefully, idk if this is even good so yeah)


	13. welcome to hell

[8:34am]

 

kookie: YALL IM CACKLING

squishsoo: no

kookie: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

kookie: what

squishsoo: you heard me

itz ya boy troye: this iSNT A VERBAL CONVERSATION

no: ignore him

kookie: anYWAY YALL IM YODELLING RN

gucci: snOrt

no: don’t

sin: what

no: don’t 

kookie: GUYS DONT YOU WANT TO HEAR MY QUIRKY ANECDOTE

squishsoo: no, no we don’t 

kookie: okay does anyone else wanna hear it

mom™: nope

kookie: oKAY SO

strong power thank you: OH MY GOD

kookie: YALL KNOW THAT VINE WHERE THAT KID FUCKIN Y E E T S HIMSELF INTO A BIN

no: unfortunately yes

no: taehyung has been forcing me to watch rip vine compilations every day for the last 2000 years

gucci: you love it

no: that’s beSIDES THE POINT

kookie: ANYWAY SO I WAS WALKING INTO SCHOOL AND I SAW FUCKING JOHNNY R U N N I N G AND THEN HE FUCKING JUMPED INTO ONE OF THOSE BIG ASS BINS AND THEN SEHUN KICKED IT OVER

kookie: rip johnny seo 2k18

gucci: don’t mention that it’s 2018 i hate it™

no: time isn’t real

yeol: so i’m guessing johnny’s dead™ now

kookie: i think so yeah

yeol: did anyone film it ???

kookie: i think bambam did

strong power thank you: does he even have any storage anymore ???

no: bambam isn’t even a real person 

strong power thank you: o yeah u rite

kookie: dad don’t type like that again

gucci: y’all can i add bambam to the chat

#drama: no you’ll ruIN THE ILLUSION

[gucci has added mabmab to the chat]

#drama: YOU RUINED THE ILLUSION

mabmab: wait what illusion

#drama: BYE BAMBAM

[#drama has removed mabmab from the chat]

gucci: NOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

#drama: YOU RUINED THE ILLUSION

itz ya boy troye: uhhh whOmst ??¿¿?

yes: that was bambam

itz ya boy troye: yeAH I GOT THAT

gay boi: also whomst is itz ya boy troye

#drama: nobody say anything 

jesus: nobody say anything

yes: nobody say anything

no: nobody say anything

kookie: nobody say anything 

itz ya boy troye: i’m troye sivan

gay boi: how

itz ya boy troye: finger guns

yeLL: no but,,,,,,, how is he here ???

mom™: hansol’s a dumbass

#drama: WOW

jesus: WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE SEOKJIN

mom™: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSHUA

 

[9:46am]

 

[gay boi has added unicorn to the chat]

squishsoo: don’t corrupt his pure mind

[squishsoo has removed unicorn from that chat]

gay boi: dammit soo i was gonna tell a joke

squishsoo: don’t call me soo

yeol: hey soo can you pass me my pencil i dropped it 

squishsoo: sure yeol <333

gay boi: WOW KYUNGSOO

 

[10:36am]

 

squishsoo: i’m going to murder baekhyun

gucci: weren’t you gonna do that anyway

squishsoo: …

squishsoo: fair point

squishsoo: but now i’m going to murder him even more

gay boi: KYUNGSOO I SAID IM SORRY

squishsoo: YOU FUCKING SENT CHANYEOL /THE VIDEO/ 

squishsoo: I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT IT WOULD NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY

gay boi: FUCK YOU I DIDNT MAKE ANY PROMISES

squishsoo: YES YOU DID DICKSHIT

gucci: what /what/ video

squishsoo: baekhyun i swear to god

gay boi: i may or may not have audio of kyungsoo confessing his love for chanyeol for a full six minutes 

gucci: oH MY GOD THATS SO SOFT IM DYING

sin: AWWWWWWWWW

squishsoo: i will kill you all

yeol: SOO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ?? YOURE SO HECKIN ADORABLE ??? SOFTEST BOYO ???? W0W ??????

squishsoo: why must you type like that

yeol: BECAUSE IM EXPRESSING MY LOVE FOR YOU

squishsoo: …

yeol: I L O V E Y O U S O M U C H ??????

squishsoo: thanks

yeol: soo~

squishsoo: sigh 

squishsoo: i love you too

yeol: askjslakgdjakdkakdjlkjald

squishsoo: uhhh chanyeol are you okay??

yeol: yeah i’m fine i just died 

gay boi: awwwww

squishsoo: baekhyun i’ll still kill you 

gay boi: okay then

 

[12:13pm]

 

gucci: guys can i add frend

no: why do we even bother asking anymore 

gucci: rad

[gucci has added mark to the chat]

mark: waddup 

gay boi: wait which mark are you

mark: not dating jackson mark

gay boi: okay cool

yes: this school has entirely too many mark

mom™: we have like,,,, two whole mark

yes: too many mark

no: what the fuck

gucci: anyway here is mark

mark: i am mark

squishsoo: we know

mark: kyungsoo,,,,,,,,

mark: squishsoo?? really

squishsoo: it wasn’t me i swear

mark: seems fake but okay

mark: anyway

mark: johnny’s been crying over troye sivan all lunch

itz ya boy troye: uhhh whAt

mark: whomst the fucc is that

[itz ya boy troye has sent an image to the chat. it’s a selfie]

mark: oH

[mark has added headass to the chat]

mark: hey you know how you’ve been crying over troye sivan 

headass: i thought we agreed not to talk about that

mark: would you mind telling everyone why 

headass: i just love him so much i’m so gay ???

itz ya boy troye: wow thanks

headass: uMM

mark: JOHNNY JUST DIED WHAT THE FUCK 

kookie: THATS THE SECOND TIME TODAY

headass: wait you sAw thAt ??

kookie: yeah but bambam also filmed it so

headass: WAIT WHAT

kookie: yeah you aren’t in the chat ???

headass: WHAT CHAT

kookie: the one with the whole school

headass: W H A T

mark: JEONGGUK STOP HE KEEPS HYPERVENTILATING

kookie: AAAAA IM SORRY

headass: this is the best way to die thank u troye

itz ya boy troye: sniffs

itz ya boy troye: welc

mark: that was,,,,,,, beautiful

headass: nvm i’m still alive

mark: thank god that’d be a hard one to explain to the principal

mark: “so how did johnny die?”

mark: “well he was already crying over troye sivan and then i added him to a chat with him in it for some reason and he just kinda did”

kookie: well it sounds ridiculous when you put it like that

kookie: also speaking of ridiculous 

itz ya boy troye: we !! are !! texting !! not !! speaking !!!

[kookie has added bRRR RAMBO, gdaY MATE, jennie and jisoo to the chat]

itz ya boy troye: aYYY SOMEONES AUSTRALIAN

gdaY MATE: AYYYYYYYYY

itz ya boy troye: wanna yell about australian shit to confuse everyone

gdaY MATE: hell ye

itz ya boy troye: remember when the mango went missing

gdaY MATE: good times

gucci: the whAt went missing

gdaY MATE: the giant mango

yes: the whAt

mark: wait how big is this giant mango 

itz ya boy troye: big feet tall

no: fuckin hell troye

gdaY MATE: wait as in /troye/

itz ya boy troye: most likely yes

jennie: dies 

headass: same

bRRR RAMBO: wait /how/ did he get here

strong power thank you: hansol mis-typed mingyu’s number

gay boi: oH SO THATS WHAT HAPPENED

jisoo: they have different area codes ???

jesus: he did his best

no: he’s hansol he found a way

 

[1:33pm]

 

[headass has added dumbass to this chat]

headass: what the fuck is your username sehun

dumbass: no

no: wow that’s my username 

dumbass: fuck y’all 

squishsoo: y’all 

yeLL: y’all 

gay boi: y’all 

yeol: y’all 

dumbass: i said two (2) words

squishsoo: *three (3)

dumbass: shut your mouth

gay boi: don’t fuck with kyungsoo he will actually murder you without remorse 

yeLL: yeah remember the /incident/

yeol: i try to forget

kookie: wait what incident 

yeol: no

squishsoo: yeOL I SAID IM SORRY

gay boi: yEOL

gay boi: KYUNGSOO THATS SO SOFT

squishsoo: BAEKHYUN IM SITTING TWO SEATS AWAY FROM YOU BE CAREFUL

gay boi: KYUNGSOO IS SOFT BOYE

yeLL: KYUNGSOO SIT DOWN

kookie: WAIT W H A T

yeol: the incident 2 electric boogaloo

squishsoo: CHANYEOL NO

mark: i wish i was in your class damn

yeLL: no you don’t 

mark: i can hear them chanting “fight” what the fuck

yeol: SOO IF YOU STOP ILL BUY YOU ICE CREAM

squishsoo: okay <333

gay boi: WHAT THE FUCK

itz ya boy troye: i’m so confused

itz ya boy troye: adopt me into your class

headass: GUYS CAN WE

strong power thank you: YEAH GUYS PLEASE

mom™: I HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN IM SORRY TROYE IM A BUSY MOTHER

itz ya boy troye: i’m older than literally all of you

mark: our gay overlord

itz ya boy troye: y’all i’m honoured 

mom™: i object it’s actually miles mckenna 

itz ya boy troye: i wholeheartedly agree

headass: hey mark can i add jisung 

mark: whatever

kookie: actuALLY I BIRTHED THIS CHAT YOU NEED MY PERMISSION

no: jeongguk never refer to birthing and yourself in the same sentence ever again

headass: jeongguk can i add jisung

kookie: yeah sure

headass: rad

[headass has added child™ to the chat]

[child™ has removed themselves from the chat]

headass: wOW MY SON DIDNT EVEN TELL HIS DAD GOODBYE

mark: johnny,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if anything he’s my son

headass: SHUT UP MARK NO ONE ASKED GO BACK TO MOOSE LAND

itz ya boy troye: moose land

headass: SHUT UP TROYE 

itz ya boy troye: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME JOHNNY

headass: I MEAN I DO BUT STILL

gdaY MATE: hey troye

gdaY MATE: canadia 

itz ya boy troye: yes

mark: curSED

 

[2:45pm]

 

mark: johnny has powdered milk and he just mixed it with regular milk

no: johnny why

headass: milk squared

squishsoo: JOHNNY NO

mark: johnny i’m breaking up with you

mark: #norugrats

headass: ö

mark: johnny we’re getting married now

headass: i thOUGHT YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME

mark: yeah well now we’re getting married let’s gO

headass: okay then

yes: wait why aren’t we questioning why johnny has powdered milk at school

no: why aren’t we questioning why powdered milk exists

headass: WAIT GUYS HES GETTING UP

headass: HES AT THE FRONT OF THE ROOM

headass: WHY IS HE ON THE TEACHERS DESK

yeol: YOU TELL US WERE NOT IN THE ROOM

headass: HES GETTING DOWN ON ONE KNEE IM

headass: OUR TEACHER JUST ASKED WHICH OF HIS 100 BOYFRIENDS HES PROPOSING TO IM YODELLING

sin: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP YODELLING TODAY

headass: “THE ONE I JUST BROKE UP WITH” IM DEAD™

headass: HES FUCKING PROPOSING TO ME WHAT THE FUCK

mark: johnny marry me

headass: yeah sure

headass: HE JUST GRABBED MY HAND AND NOW WERE LEAVING CLASS

headass: MARK WHERE ARE WE GOING

mark: we gettin married 

#drama: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING RN

yeol: wait did he propose out loud or just in the chat

headass: just in the chat

headass: our teacher asked him what the fuck he was doing and he just said “i’m getting married byE” y o d e l s

itz ya boy troye: JOHNNY I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING

headass: IM SORRY BUT MARK GAVE ME A PENCIL

itz ya boy troye: shit i can’t compete with that

no: is that sarcasm 

itz ya boy troye: idk i’ll get back to you on that

 

headass: hey guys can i tell people that i’m in a chat with troye sivan

mark: no

no: no

yes: no

kookie: no

mom™: no

headass: tOO BAD

mark: if you tell anyone you will be kicked out of the chat, the group and my heart

headass: WOW MARK I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

jesus: wait mark who are you dating

mark: yes

jesus: same

mark: wait how many

jesus: 12 wbu

mark: yes

jesus: how many is yes

mark: like 40

headass: he may or may not be exaggerating 

mark: like 38.5

jesus: wait what

mark: i asked haechan out like a year ago and i’m waiting for a response

no: what how

headass: i don’t even remember you asking me out i just know we’re dating 

mark: wow love u too

#drama: are we going to talk about how joshua said wbu

jesus: shush

jesus: anyway mark how do you keep track of all your boyfriends

mark: i don’t 

headass: wAIT I REMEMBER HOW MARK ASKED ME OUT

mark: OH YEAH

mark: on his first day here he snapped his pencil and yelled “FUCK” in a really strong american accent and i turned around and said “i’m in love with you we’re dating now” and he said “yeah okay can you give me another pencil?” and then soonyoung said ‘ooooooo’ and then i slapped him

jesus: oH THAT WAS YOU WHO SLAPPED HIM

jesus: nice job

mark: thanks

mark: yeah and then taeyong from the corner of the room yelled “OOOOOOO” and i yelled back “IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU”

 

[2:58pm]

 

dumbass: hey we should add bambam to the chat

mark: nope he’s been banned

itz ya boy troye: banbanned

headass: troye i love you but no

itz ya boy troye: i love u too :’’’)

 

[3:18pm]

 

mark: guys johnny just messaged me “all crows are jisung” and he won’t reply to me

itz ya boy troye: i know exactly what he’s talking about

mark: you dONT EVEN KNOW WHO JISUNG IS

itz ya boy troye: no but i’m assuming

headass: mark 

headass: mark

headass: mark

mark: WHY WONT YOU TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS 

mark: JISUNG JUST TEXTED ME A PICTURE OF A CROW WITH THE WORD MARK WHAT IS GOING ON

mark: AND ALSO WHY IS HE AWAKE

headass: M A R K M A R K M A R K

#drama: M A R K M A R K M A R K

headass: M A R K M A R K M A R K

dumbass: M A R K M A R K M A R K

mark: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

headass: SEHUN ADD BAMBAM

dumbass: i though he was banbanned

headass: JUST DO IT

[dumbass has added mabmab]

headass: @bambam add mark thanks

mabmab: uhhhhh okay y’all 

[mabmab has added mark]

mark: what

mark: mark

mark: mark

mark: mark

mark: mark

mark: mark

mark: mark

mabmab: WHAT DID I JUST GET INTO

headass: MARK

mabmab: OKAY THEN

mabmab: MARK

[headass has added child™ to the chat]

child™: mark

mark: OH GOD NOT YOU TOO

child™: M A R K

mark: WAIT WHY AM I HERE

headass: M A R K

mark: WHAT

mark: THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

headass: all crows are jisung

mark: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

#drama: no

mark: i know

mark: tELL ME

mark: mark

[mark has removed themselves from the chat]

dumbass: wait which mark just left

headass: mark

dumbass: no which one 

headass: mark

dumbass: whICH ONE

headass: mARK

mark: the mark that’s dating jackson

dumbass: dammit

mark: WOW

mark: johnny you love me don’t you

headass: yeah sure

headass: MARK

mark: WHY

 

[3:28pm]

 

[yeLL has added nini <3]

nini <3: jongdae i’ve heard about this chat why would you do this

child™: wAIT HANG ON

child™: JONGIN ???

nini <3: yeah ????

child™: I LOVE YOU ????

mark: JISUNG NO

nini <3: idk who you are but okay

headass: he’s jisung 

nini <3: oh hey johnny

headass: i didn’t tell you that it’s me ???

nini <3: i guessed

gay boi: SH I T

child™: ANYWAY HI I LOVE YOU

mark: JISUNG N O

child™: SHUT UP MARK YOU CANT STOP ME

nini <3: who is the child someone tell me

child™: hello i’m jisung

nini <3: hi jisung

mark: he jusT DIED 

nini <3: oh my god i’m so sorry !! jisung don’t die

mark: THERE HE GOES

nini <3: i’m sorry :(((((

child™: SHUT UP MARK IM FINE STOP SPREADING LIES ABOUT ME

mark: YOU STARTED HYPERVENTILATING 

child™: NO I DIDNT

child™: DONT BELIEVE HIS LIES JONGIN 

nini <3: okay !!

child™: he’s adorable i want to die

nini <3: is he okay ??

child™: mARK DONT SAY SHIT

headass: JISUNG WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

child™: FUCK OFF JOHNNY

itz ya boy troye: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[3:46pm]

 

[yeol has added gucci to the chat]

yeol: everyone this is my friend tao, i love him and now i’m going to roast the shit out of him because hE MAKES MUSICAL.LYS

gucci: shUT UP CHANYEOL YOU DABBED TO SWEATSHIRT YESTERDAY

yeol: EXCUSE U IT WAS HIT OR MISS ZITAO

gucci: OH MY GOD 

gucci: ummmm

gucci: why is there fake gucci in this chat ???

gucci: yeah, why is that?

dumbass: wait which gucci is taehyung and which gucci is tao

gucci: yes

gucci: yes

gucci: anywAY TAO TIME TO FIGHT

squishsoo: he lives in china, you can’t

gucci: YES I CAN FIGHT ME FROM ACROSS THE OCEAN TAO

squishsoo: i think that’s called a war??

gucci: ONLY ONE OF US CAN BE TRUE GUCCI

gucci: TIME TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH

[dumbass has changed gucci’s name to jacob stegosaurus stan]

dumbass: fuck u tao

 

[4:09pm]

 

mark: GUYS I MADE NEW FRIEND HE IS CANADA BOYE

jacob stegosaurus stan: 1) never say that again and 2) is it kris

mark: shit how’d u know

jacob stegosaurus: lucky guess

[mark has added canada boye to the chat]

mark: he is canada boye

#drama: shit u rite

strong power thank you: why does he get to type like that and not me ???

kookie: shut up dad

kookie: you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends

canada boye: hey there fellas i’m here to join y’all in the fiery pits of hell

squishsoo: i like him he can stay

mark: see i told y’all he’s rad

child™: no you didn’t you just said that he’s canadian

mark: yeah i said he’s rad

canada boye: ayyyyy

mark: ayyyyyyy

gdaY MATE: hey troye

gdaY MATE: he’s a canadia

itz ya boy troye: yodels into the void

canada boye: i hate you both and i don’t even know who you are

itz ya boy troye: ayyy i hate me too

jacob stegosaurus stan: speaking of hate

[jacob stegosaurus stan has added blow it like a flute]

jacob stegosaurus stan: deleted 

[jacob stegosaurus stan has removed blow it like a flute from the chat]

no: what just happened

gucci: spite

yeol: GUYS WAIT

[yeol has added junmoney to the chat]

yeol: hey junmyeon 

junmoney: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

canada boye: that name is,,,,,,,,, familiar 

junmoney: ????????

yeol: junmyeon i found your dead husband kris 

mark: actually i found him

canada boye: ,,,,

[canada boye has removed themselves from the chat]

junmoney: NO MY LOVE

[mark has added canada boye to the chat]

canada boye: wow mark i thought we had something 

junmoney: I THOUGHT YOU DIED

canada boye: I JUST MOVED TO CHINA CHILL

junmoney: /JUST/ MOVED TO CHINA

junmoney: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD FOR LIKE 2 YEARS

canada boye: WELL IM NOT

headass: what are we even witnessing

jacob stegosaurus stan: shut up we’ve been waiting for them to reunite for so long

junmoney: so you’re back ????

canada boye: ye boi

junmoney: well then gET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

canada boye: WERE IN CLASS

junmoney: KRIS PLEASE

canada boye: F I N E

jacob stegosaurus stan: jesus christ now kris will stop complaining to me at 4am

 

[4:27pm]

 

junmoney: hey can someone add luhan back to the chat i gotta tell him something 

jacob stegosaurus stan: yeah sure

[jacob stegosaurus stan has added blow it like a flute]

blow it like a flute: wassup

junmoney: fuck you

blow it like a flute: wait what did i do

junmoney: read over that message again reaaaal slow luhan

blow it like a flute: okay yeah fair point lmao 

blow it like a flute: can i stay this time 

jacob stegosaurus stan: hmmmmm maybe

blow it like a flute: lmao 

jacob stegosaurus stan: okay never mind not anymore bye

[blow it like a flute has added marshmallow to the chat]

marshmallow: luhan !!!

blow it like a flute: minseok !!!

child™: my poor innocent eyes don’t deserve this

child™: mark,,,,,,,,

mark: i swear to god if you say my name one more time

itz ya boy troye: this isNT A VERBAL CONVERSATION


	14. mr sydney man and mr rubber ducky man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaY SO i just into stray kids w my buddy bean and Wow I Love Them So Much?? so yeah now aussie line are here because Wow I Love Them So Much 2 Electric Boogaloo?? so yeah uhh if chan n felix are a lil ooc i am sorry i'm new here. please give me advice on where i should go w this fic btw if Literally Anyone Cares.
> 
> thanks ilu all byE

[4:09pm]

 

#drama: y’all

#drama: i had an idea

no: oh jesus please no

jesus: i tried to stop him but he’s an unstoppable force of no

#drama: gee thanks joshua

jesus: i do my best

#drama: anyway so uhhhhhhhhhhh we should go camping

squishsoo: no fucking way

yeol: soo~ it’d be fun~

squishsoo: alrighty guys let’s go

gay boi: awwwwwwww

squishsoo: no

squishsoo: i am rage

squishsoo: pure anger

squishsoo: ready to fight anyone and anything

yeol: :(((

squishsoo: except for chanyeol

yeol: :))))

[headass has changed squishsoo’s name to softsoo]

softsoo: no

headass: yes

dumbass: i’m only going if jongin is

nini <3: PACK YOUR BAGS SEHUN

dumbass: ON IT

softsoo: now look who’s whipped

dumbass: so you admit it then

softsoo: shut up

yeol: anyway when we goin

#drama: well we’re drivin to your houses now because we have like five cars and seungkwan’s mum’s minivan so we can split up and shit

itz ya boy troye: imma teleport to y’all

headass: magic gay boi

itz ya boy troye: johnny this is why i love you

headass: :’’’)

[jesus has added september and thughao to the chat]

#drama: minghao,,,,,,, no,,,,, you are Soft

thughao: fuckinnnn square up bitch

#drama: no

thughao: okay ^^

september: anyway okay so i only got joshua to add us here for one (1) reason

thughao: oh god

september: and that is,,,,,,,,,,

september: MINGHAO HAS A FUCKING MULLET

jesus: minghao i love you so much but n o

thughao: :’’’) i love u too

jesus: also,,, whO LET MINGYU DRIVE AND WHY

#drama: NO ONE DID HE JUST DECIDED™

thughao: ha get fucked junhui and i are with Responsible Young Adult Lee Jihoon

#drama: wow minghao Watch Your Fucking Language

#drama: JOSHUA JUST SLAPPED ME WOW RUDE

jesus: WATCH YOUR MOTHERHECKING LANGUAGE HANSOL

september: ohohoho joshua

september: tell that to urself

september: don’t forget that i have The Video

jesus: haha what are you talking about junhui

september: i’m talking about The Incident

kookie: SPILL THAT TEA JUNHUI

september: i do not spill the tea, i simply sip

mom™: YES SON SIP THE TEA

strong power thank you: wait when did we adopt junhui

mom™: just now

september: i’m not objecting

september: anYWAY joshua i could expose u rn but,,, the question is,,,, should i

jesus: no no you shouldn’t

september: hmmmmmmmmmmmm

thughao: MY BOYFRIEND IS AN EVIL GENIUS?!?! (**NOT CLICKBAIT**)

[jesus has removed thughao from the chat]

[headass has added thughao to the chat]

thughao: MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME?!?!? (***NOT CLICKBAIT***)

september: joshua you can’t stop him there’s no point

jesus: hhhhhhhhhh

#drama: HEY CHANSOO WERE OUTSIDE GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR

softsoo: what the fuck is a chansoo?

yeol: LETS GO SOO

softsoo: COMING HONEY

softsoo: *shithead sorry, autocorrect

mark: UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

mark: THATS SO SOFT

dumbass: and they say romance is dead

 

[4:47pm]

 

#drama: g u y y y y y y y s

#drama: i’m b o o o o o o r e d d d d

softsoo: i read that in his voice and i want to die

jesus: o no

jesus: y’all know what he does when he’s bored

[#drama has added i’m from sydney australia to the chat]

thughao: oh no

september: wait wh0mst is that

itz ya boy troye: gasp

itz ya boy troye: come child, i am also an australia

i’m from sydney australia: gASP

i’m from sydney australia: henlo

i'm from sydney australia: wait i have another Australia

[i'm from sydney australia has added rubber ducky]

rubber ducky: felix i am sitting beside you and can definitely strangle you

i'm from sydney australia: BUT ANOTHER AUSTRALIA

rubber ducky: gASP

itz ya boy troye: the australia has a name

rubber ducky: i do not

rubber ducky: i am enigma

rubber ducky: a mystery

rubber ducky: you shall never know my true identity

headass: o hey chan

rubber ducky: oh my god

gDAY MATE: henlo fellow australias

gDAY MATE: it me

gDAY MATE: i will now return to my grave

i’m from sydney australia: sniffs

i’m from sydney australia: that was beautiful

no: hansol why did you add them

rubber ducky: wow i am truly hurt

i’m from sydney australia: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you can’t get into it because they wouldn’t understand

#drama: well felix is m’buddy but idk who rubber ducky is

rubber ducky: i am rubber ducky

i’m from sydney australia: he’s chan

rubber ducky: i am rubber ducky

kookie: is that your fursona?

rubber ducky: nO

jesus: oh no we’ve got another one

rubber ducky: another what

[jesus has added baby to the chat]

baby: i am the baby

jesus: another chan

baby: gASP

baby: i have competition

jacob stegosaurus stan: oh god its gucci v gucci all over again

gucci: where did you go tao

jacob stegosaurus stan: the void

strong power thank you: are we going to ignore the fact that hansol said “m’buddy”

rubber ducky: i’ve already blacked it out from my memory

#drama: anyway nEW FRIENDS Y A Y

sin: why are we always adding new people to this chat?? there are way too many of us

itz ya boy troye: it’s because sometimes the author gets bored and wants to add more people to shake things up a bit. other times it’s because he’s stanned a new group and wants to add some of them. it depends on his mood.

i’m from sydney australia: i’m not even going to question that

itz ya boy troye: you really shouldn’t bother

 

[5:36pm]

 

#drama: you have arrived at your destination

jesus: he said that out loud and timed it perfectly with the gps fyi

thughao: hansol, have i ever mentioned that i hate you

#drama: earlier you sent me a voice message where you just said “i hate you so much”

september: minghao’s dedicated man

september: can’t take that away from him

#drama: i mean,,,

#drama: yeah

headass: leTS GO BITCHES

mark: BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

child: N O O N E W A N T S T O B E A S Q U A R E

dumbass: welcome to hell everyone we’re here

no: i can’t tell what that was in reference to but i agree

thughao: jihoon says to hurry the fuck up move your asses

sin: not that i don’t love mr sydney man and mr rubber ducky man but like,,,, why /did/ they get added

i’m from sydney australia: wERE ON OUR WAY BITCHES

strong power thank you: mr sydney man

gucci: mR RUBBER DUCKY MAN

#drama: wait i thought you guys were already here

rubber ducky: yeah nah

rubber ducky: we chucked a maccas run and now we’re haLF AN HOUR BEHIND SCHEDULE FELIX

i’m from sydney australia: W O W MATE YOU FUCKING GALAH

jesus: did

jesus: did anyone understand anything that was just said

softsoo: nope

yeol: not a word

yell: nothin

gay boi: no

itz ya boy troye: t H I S I S N O T A V E R B A L C O N V E R S A T I O N

itz ya boy troye: and for the record i understood everything as an Australia

strong power thank you: pls translate troye

strong power thank you: someone

strong power thank you: anyone

itz ya boy troye: yeah nah

yes: goDDAMMIT YOU HECKIN DARN AUSTRALIA

i’m from sydney australia: hey troye

i’m from sydney australia: you’re so hot, rhonda

itz ya boy troye: liKE A SUNRISE

rubber ducky: KISS ME KETUT

i’m from sydney australia: luckyyyyy you’re with aami

rubber ducky: :’)

rubber ducky: rhonda and ketut

rubber ducky: the greatest love story of all time

i’m from sydney australia: :’’’)

baby: jeonghan says “shut the fuck up and get your twink asses to the campsite”

#drama: wow jeonghan that’s #hypocritical of you

#drama: yoon jeonghan is the twinkiest twink in all of twinkdom

[september has removed #drama from the chat]

september: he disrespected me

jesus: sigh

[jesus has added #drama to the chat]

#drama: i feel Attacked wow

 

[6:03pm]

 

rubber ducky: thE AUSTRALIANS HAVE ARRIVED

no: i can hear one of them screaming from here

rubber ducky: that would be felix

i’m from sydney australia: wADDUP GUYS WE ARE HERE AND WERE READY TO have a lovely, responsible and fun weekend away and have Family Bonding Time

rubber ducky: don’t call us a family that’s weird

jacob stegosaurus stan: agreed

yeLL: tao where’d you go??

jacob stegosaurus stan: i thought we went over this??

child: uhh question: where’s seokjin???

strong power thank you: a) he’s sleeping and b) he forgot to charge his phone last night and can’t be bothered to charge it now because “what’s the meaning of anything really, namjoon?”

gucci: pFT

yes: did seokjin just get possessed by yoongi or something

no: sEOKJIN WHERE ARE U LETS GET MARRIED

strong power thank you: HES S L E E P I N G

baby: guys,,,,,,,,,, why are the sydney man and the rubber ducky man yelling

jesus: good question chan

jesus: no idea

rubber ducky: THE WOODPECKER BIRD

i’m from sydney australia: LIKES PECKING WOOD

rubber ducky: THE BLUEBIRDS A BIRD

i’m from sydney australia: THAT SINGS PRETTY GOOD

rubber ducky: SPARROWS ARE A BIRD THAT ARE PRETTY COOL AY

i’m from sydney australia: BUT THE IBIS IS A BIRD THAT DRINKS BIN JUICE ALL DAY

child: i am confusion

i’m from sydney australia: The Worst Bird Of All Time Award goes to: the bin chicken

kookie: someone help us we can’t understand half of what they’re saying

itz ya boy troye: there there sweaty

kookie: what

itz ya boy troye: it’s just a bin chicken, just tell it to fuck off if it goes near ya

kookie: what

 

[6:58pm]

 

strong power thank you: alrighty fellas mama seokjin says go the fuck to sleep

i’m from sydney australia: but,,,, it’s not even 7pm yet

rubber ducky: yeah abc3 is still on the air rn we can’t sleep

i’m from sydney australia: think of the prank patrol reruns namjoon

i’m from sydney australia: think of scotty tweedie and his beautiful 2010 swoopy hair

rubber ducky: do it for him namjoon

rubber ducky: for scotty

#drama: :’’’)

#drama: i have no idea what/who you’re talking about but it was beautiful

rubber ducky: not as beautiful as scotty tweedie

i’m from sydney australia: nothing is more beautiful than scotty mate

rubber ducky: but,,, but mate

i’m from sydney australia: except for you mate

rubber ducky: maaate

i’m from sydney australia: maaate

jesus: mama jeonghan says fucking sleep


End file.
